Looking for Love
“I’ve gone after a lot of things. But could I be so captured by you, Lord, that I just go after you.” This was a prayer my instructor prayed during my Biblical Saturation class not long ago. And it is truly a desire in my own life.
But there was a time this was not my desire at all. In fact, there was a time I was looking for something but I really didn’t know what it was. Now looking back, I can clearly see that I was looking for love but unfortunately, I was looking for love in all the wrong places.
Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 1 John 2:15
Having Fun
When I was young looking for love took the form of fun. The excitement seemed to fill this void I had. I spent hours and money on video games. Then in my early teens I found a T.V. series that preoccupied my mind so much that I became an avid fan. Actually, the show had become my idol and my thoughts were consumed with it.
Thou shalt have no other gods before me. Exodus 20:30
Relationships with Men
By the time I was sixteen, I began to look for love in men. I was careful not to do something to disappoint my grandmother who feared I would go in my mother’s steps of dancing and dating. So I dressed like one of the “guys” and always got to hang out with the young men because of it.
This way of dressing and acting later posed an identity struggle for me. But to remedy that I went all out and dressed up very feminine with a new outfit, new shoes and all. I got the men’s attention I wanted and was satisfied that I could turn on the female charm if I wanted.
For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. 1 John 2:6
Pride of Life
The pride of life made me feel great. I joined the military and got in shape. No need to be looking for love when I felt great about myself. But then I met Bruce who later became my husband.
Was this what I was looking for a real relationship with a man to fill the void that secretly grew behind my prideful life?
But I know you, that ye have not the love of God in you. John 5:42
Jesus Sets the Captives Free
Years after Bruce and I were married, Bruce came to know the Lord. It would be another couple of years after listening to the Testimony Darlene Deibler Rose that I would under the conviction that I didn’t have a real relationship with God. At the time we were receiving teaching from missionary Milton Martin and his wife Francis. Mrs. Martin had an interesting way of teaching that always got me to think about God.
In addition, because my husband had decided our lives needed to change all music and things that did not honor God had been taken out of our lives. And because he didn’t know what kind of music to listen to we listened to the Bible on cassette day and night. This became a huge blessing in my life because the scriptures have been recorded in my mind and heart.
This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success. Joshua 1:8
I was most blessed to be exposed to God’s word day and night. And because of it, God delivered me from so much to include demonism and the lies that had kept me from my Lord. Our Lord truly comes to set the captives free!
Still Looking for Love
Christ had become my Saviour and Galatians 2:20 became my life verse. I was free from so many things but yet even as God’s child, I struggled to understand how amazing His love was for me. I was looking for love more from my husband, who by all reasoning was suppose to show me God’s love.
For years, as God’s child, my Lord continued to teach me more and more about Himself.
And do you know what happened?
The more I discovered my Lord’s love for me, for all of us, the more He filled my life with Himself.
And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God. Ephesians 3:19
Do I continue looking for love?
Yes, but only in Him. God is the only one who can love you supremely. His love has so captivated me and my Lord has become my ever-consuming passion.
And because His love is in me I able to freely give His love to you. When you know you belong to God and know what His desire is, you can rest in His everlasting arms.
I am my beloved’s, and his desire is toward me. Song of Solomon 7:10
Are you captivated by God and all He is?
My greatest desire is that every woman will know true love. And that love is only found in Jesus Christ our Lord.
To GOD be ALL the GLORY
In His hands,
Ann Marie Moore
LWHseries.com – Know True Love
Receive the weekly Beauty in Dying devotionals in your email inbox plus a free gift from me.
Photo by Petr Ovralov on Unsplash